dear ex,
i took care of your heart like it's yours. and you hurted me three times..not once not twice but three..i never hurted you not even once..i tried so hard to not make you feel neglected, i gave you my attention, i gave you everything. i love you more than i love myself. i just want to let you know what you really lost. you didn't just lose a girl, you lose someone who cares so much about you. i wish i can go back where nothing was happening to me, and also i wanted to thank you for everything. the gifts that you gave me even though i only spend a little bit on you while you spent your whole savings for me, the time you gave me, the attention you gave me, the love that i needed. i do appreciate you so much but idk, idk why you chose to leave me for the girl that you know you wont have. idk why you didn't appreciate me after a long time being together. now you lost everything.. i do want to accept you for the third time, but i can't. i can't bear to see myself in that situation again.. how you made my smile gone, how you made my heart broke into millions of peices. i hate seeing myself like that, over a boy. and i dont know why i can even think about giving you a third chance. i don't know why my heart keeps wanting to forgive you even though i know you will hurt me over and over again. you hurted me three times and i still want to forgive you. that shows how i love you so much. i can forgive the person who hurted me the most. i loved you so much, i mean it. i know you don't miss me, you miss my attention, or the attention from a girl. i also want to thank you for walking together with me after school. the loml won't know who i am if it wasn't for you. there's a lot i want to say to you. the good things. im tired of being mad and cursing at you. you kept coming back and i knew you would come back right after we broke up. i predicted it a long time ago. i knew you were going to make a cycle again. but this time, i opened my eyes. i never wanted to have anything to do with you anymore. i dont know why i chose you, i dont know why i still want you that time. maybe because you were my first. my first love and first biggest mistake. thank you for everything adam. you only exist in my memories now. thank you for the memories, that first experience, everything. you can date as many girls as you want but you won't find a single one of them loving you the way i loved you like you were my world, like you were my life. you never knew how much i cried because of you, how much tears you made for me to cry. for almost a month i cried myself to sleep. you'll never know how much you hurted me. all you know was wanting me for the way i looked, wanting a pretty girlfriend and wanting a relationship. you don't want to be alone. but when you get bored you just threw me out and will come back like nothing had happened. and also you don't love me for the way i am. maybe i should've know that a long time ago, maybe if i listened to my friends. you can't even handle when i repost things that mentioned another guy instead of you [like that one annoying classmate, my idol and etc.] . i reposted things that i like and you just want to stop me from doing things that i like. i don't like that, i don't like that behaviour of yours. i loved you the way you are, not because of your looks, not because of your attention. i just loved you, the way you are. i never loved someone the way i loved you adam, i hope you know that. i have never treated someone so lovely and even hurted myself to take care of their feelings. i hope one day you'll realize what you have lost. and i hope you realized what you did to me was so painful i even stopped taking care of my health. it feels like my world had collapsed, it feels like i lost everything. you were my everything adam. you were my everything. why did you threw that feelings away? why are you so immature? i can't be with you anymore and i'm so sorry. i have met the love of my life. the one who maybe will keep his promises. and will change if i wanted him to change. a guy who is willing to do anything for me, the guy who loved me so much he's scared to lose me, the guy who wants to be the best for me, the guy who wants to marry me. i have met him. and he's not you. thank you adam for everything. i hope you forget me like i forget you. and i hope you met a girl that can make you forget about me. goodbye adam. the person who used to be the love of my life. i loved you. so much.