to Alyssa Kristel
And suddenly, pumayag ako sa kagustuhan mong mapag-isa. Sabi mo pa gusto mo ng space I mean, hindi gusto, you said you needed it, and I have to respect your decision. Kasi these past 3 months, I’ve been begging you to stay. I look so desperate, I was willing to lose myself just so we can still be together. We were together, but not really together. I don't have a choice, I agreed, but that doesn't mean kagustuhan ko 'yon.
Yeah, I know, nahihirapan ka na and nasasaktan, pero I was hurting too. It didn't matter, hindi dumaan sa utak ko na umalis, kasi no matter how hard it gets, I know it will get better because I had you. Maybe we're not on the same page sa part na 'yon.
Now, I'm here, waiting and working on myself everyday. Walang araw na 'di kita naisip, sobrang hirap magpigil. Gusto kita i-chat, mangamusta, pero ang sabi mo sa tuwing nakikita mo ako, naririnig, nati-trigger ka. Ang familiar e, no? Kasi last year, gan'tong gan'to tayo, pero magkaiba ng positions.
Sana kung may susunod pa, masira natin 'yung cycle na 'to. And siguro nga, much better na 'to. Ayoko na makita mo 'yung version ko na miserable, broke, and broken. I wanna be the best for you and for us. Sa ngayon, tamang hope lang, naghihintay sa'yo kahit na walang kasiguraduhan kung babalik ka pa ba. Pero nandito lang ako, everyday is a challenge, and I’m willing to take the risk of waiting and loving you from afar, because you’re worth it. I love you.
-Denver Gyan