Dear L,
So many things happened between us. Yesterday everything came to an end. You asked me to stay as friends. But how could I? How are you asking me to look at those big Bambi eyes of yours and just see a friend? How are you asking me to never touch our lips in that way? How are you asking me to never hold your hands in that intimate way? How are you asking me to stay and watch how you move on?
This week you said you missed me, that you wanted to cuddle with me. Two days ago you said you loved me, you kissed me again and again, you talked with so much passion about your interested and I just thought how I loved you and how I wanted to capture that moment forever, thinking that this time it might finally work out. But then you just said that you couldn't give me the love I deserved. That things changed and that you were not the same person from a year ago.
I know that, I knew that from the beginning. I knew things would eventually end like this. But, it was too soon. There were plans we didn't do. That dress I planned to wear for that candlelight concert, I don't think I'll ever be able to wear it if it's not for you.
What do I do with the flowers you gave me? Those that I dried and planned to put in a big frame, leaving space for the "flowers you would have gave to me". Now that frame will forever be empty. What do I do with that ring you gave me? It was a set but you lost yours two days after, I guess that was a signal. Just like you lost that ring two days after, whatever we had ended in two weeks. What do I do now with the plans we didn't do? What do I do with everything you gave me? What do I do with all this love that's coming out of my heart and that won't stop flowing even if I try to close that door?
You told me that if hating you would make it easier then youll understand. How could I hate you? How could I hate you now that you've made me the happiest person alive? How could I ever hate you, now that I had you again I could finally understand how much I missed you.
But I just can't stay in a life where we're not together. Where I can't cuddle with you until we fall asleep. Where I can't reach for your warmth in the worst days. Where I know that once we lock eyes, would not mean those of a lover.
This is just day one without you, but it hurts like an eternity.